One day, while out at a mall in Manila with my friends, a storm started and we were pretty much ‘stranded’ there for 11 hours. You would think that wouldn’t be so bad for a girl who loves to shop, but honestly there is nothing more boring or dreary than a mall when you don’t feel like buying anything! So, after having a few inches chopped off my hair just to kill time, we headed to a bookstore to explore. I’ve always loved reading, but lately things have been so hectic at work and busy as well outside of it, so I haven’t picked up a book in a while. The last one I read, “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini was so gut-wrenchingly emotional and I just didn’t feel like getting all twisted up at this point…so I went to the chick-lit section for some easy material, the type you can finish reading while waiting for your flight. Saw this cute looking novel called “Great Aunt Sophia’s Lessons for Bombshells” by Lisa Cach and thought hey, not bad. Maybe I can pick up a tip or two from here. The story is all about a woman prejudiced against beauty, who practically makes an effort to look common because she wants people to see her for who she is, not what she looks like. She ends up visiting her Great Aunt, a legendary beauty during her prime, who convinces her to get a full makeover before she passes judgment. Of course there’s a love story thrown in there somewhere, but that’s beside the point. So here are some of Great Aunt Sophia’s tips on how to be a bombshell and how to attract people:
- Change your mindset. “Beauty is not based on physical reality, but upon attitudes and expectations. If you behave as if you are beautiful, others will believe you.” This is so true. So many of the girls we consider “beautiful” don’t have perfect features at all—they just light up from within and we, like moths, are captivated by them. So all one has to do is believe and behave as though one is a knockout: move with confidence and grace, smile more often, groom well, etc. and you will certainly become one.
- Wear lingerie. Yes, you may be the only person who will ever get to see it, but “you cannot achieve a vixen mindset while wearing granny undies.” Therefore replace those pajamas and garter shorts (what are you, five years old?) and stock up on silk nighties and a robe, and ditch the boring cotton undergarments for sexier, more sophisticated styles. Seeing yourself in them will help convince you of what a sexy little minx you are, and the confidence will show through even after you put on your clothes.
- Wear high heels all the time. Truly not practical especially for those of us who do a lot of walking, but if you can help it (or bear it), do it. High heels elongate the legs, help tone the muscles, and force you to suck in your gut and throw your shoulders back when you walk. Which means of course that you generally look so much better in them. Oh, and when walking, make sure you walk in a straight line, as though you are on a balance beam. It will make you sway your hips more when you do and that is generally perceived as more attractive.
- Maintain good posture. Always keep your head up (in ballet, three fingers from the collarbone to the chin), your shoulders back, and your hips slightly forward. When sitting, your back still needs to be straight with your legs crossed to the side (to prevent a free show!). Good posture is important for creating a confident, calm, “I’ve got my act together” impression which is a must for all bombshells.
- Strive to be easy on the eye. Beauty is a mindset, but it wouldn’t help to boost your physical appearance too. Consult a nutritionist for a meal plan that works for you and make a conscious effort to eat healthy. Then sign up to the gym and work with a trainer for your specific needs—weight loss, toning, strengthening, etc. See a dermatologist if you’ve got problem skin. Go to a salon for a good cut and color every few months. Wear flattering clothes that complement your hair/eye color and skin tone, your figure and your best physical attributes. And one last tip: “Capri pants should never be worn by anyone over 100 pounds.” Ulp.
- Pay people compliments. This doesn’t mean lying through your teeth of course, but pay honest attention to people. Notice what they are proudest about achieving, what they worked so hard on, what matters the most to them, and compliment them about it—it could be their work, their children, their house, whatever. Watching their eyes sparkle about the things they are most passionate about will also help you see them in their element, and it will make you genuinely more interested in what they have to say. This is one of the best ways to endear yourself to people—to “make them feel like they matter and that they are worthy of your attention”. And to do that, you must listen to people and care who they are, what they say, how they feel, what they think. Also, be respectful of perspectives other than your own.
- Don’t fill silences with chatter. When conversing, avoid yakking on and on about mundane things or minor details about your life that nobody would be interested in. And do not ‘vent’ or complain. If you cannot think of anything pleasant to talk about or if you’ve run out of questions for other people, just make eye contact and smile, be appreciative of the surroundings, or declare that you’re having a good time. Trust me, no one likes to be on the receiving end of a gripe session or get caught up in your melodrama unless they’re your mom or (maybe) best friend.
- Be pleasant. What’s the use of being a sourpuss about everything when there’s so much to celebrate and be grateful for? Try to be the kind of lady that’s so upbeat, so positive, so freaking happy that people always want to be around you. Find reasons to laugh, to tease, to be playful, to have fun, to be affectionate with people. Avoid being judgmental, dogmatic, or too rigid. Get rid of your inner negatron, it isn’t helping you any.
- Drive a stick shift. According to the grand dame in this book, there are few things sexier than a woman who can drive a stick shift. I cannot contribute much to this discussion because I myself don’t drive, but I’ll take her word for it.
The book concludes with a couple of lines that I find particularly interesting—“It is the perception and attitude of the woman herself that is most responsible for the beauty that others see in her outward face and form. Rather than being an arbitrary judgment placed upon her from outside sources, beauty is a tool within the reach of every woman, should she dare to develop and use it.”
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